


Things Left Unsaid

by Sinyale



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Break Up Talk, But not attempt, Comfort, Feels, Gen, Platonic Relationships, Suicide Considering, lots of mentioned characters - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-02-09
Packaged: 2019-10-24 23:52:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17714063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sinyale/pseuds/Sinyale
Summary: (because I'm too tired to say them and you aren't ready for them.)Harry Potter used to wonder and he wants to do it again.Ginny has many things to say, but only one thing is enough.





	Things Left Unsaid

Things won’t be the same, is the only thing he knows.

 

He stands here, before the place he had always considered as his home; the place that won’t be the same anymore. Looking around, he wonders if this will be the last time he will stand before his home. He wonders if this is the feelings of a man leaving his parents’ house and family to find his own. Looking around some more, a thought occurs in his mind. It is quite an interesting one, though a bit upsetting. He wonders if the pile of destruction in front of him is really Hogwarts, his home since eleven. He wonders if he will be able to see this cheap imitation of Hogwarts as his home. He wonders and wonders. Then, he realizes he hasn’t wondered for quite a time now. When he was six, he had wondered if there was any distant relative, who would come and take him away from Private Drive. When he was eleven, shaken but in awe, he had wondered if Hagrid was real and not just a dream. When he was thirteen, he had wondered if he would finally be with his family, his godfather, Padfoot, _Sirius_.

 

_"What's life without a little risk?"_

 

He winces, not sure if he should really be thinking about this. But he can’t help wondering if the risks were really worth all this _present_ , this outcome before him. He can’t help but wonder if pursuing the revenge was worth abandoning him. He wonders if burying oneself in guilt and sorrow was really worth it. He wonders if dying was _worth_... He doesn’t really want to think about it.

 

He wonders if this is why he has stopped wondering in the first place. He’s pretty sure it isn’t. When he was fourteen, he had wondered many times if he would be alive and if the eyes of the boy would hunt him forever.

 

_(They are still engraved in his mind. Every time he closes his eyes, another pair will appear instead.)_

 

When he was fifteen, he had wondered if he was really insane or stuck in this hell. He looks at the hand; it always reminds him of when truths can be lies. Many people think it only brings him anger or humiliation or shame. They are partly wrong. The lines he wrote bring him content. He is content that he didn’t tell, hasn’t told and doesn’t tell lies. When he was sixteen, he had wondered if things could get any worse than this. He remembered wondering who the Half-blood Prince was.

 

_(He was deliberately trying to forget another pair of eyes that had joined the boy’s behind his eyelids. He didn’t know that there would be three pairs after his sixth year.)_

 

Then he realizes. He has stopped wondering when he was seventeen. He isn’t surprised. Running away, trying to keep himself and his friends alive, and hunting various dangerous artefacts seem to have that effect on people.

 

Suddenly too tired of standing up, he decides to sit down beside the Lake. He wonders what will happen next. He wonders if he will finally be free of his duty. He wonders if he will have to hunt more witches or wizards in hiding. He wonders if he will be assassinated. He wonders if he will become the next Dark Lord. He wonders if he will be hunted down as well.

 

“Hey.”

 

He’s not sure if wincing and standing abruptly are considered a positive respond in any culture, definitely not the culture in this country. Ginny looks like she wants to laugh and cry at the same time. He manages a weak hey and immediately regrets ever opening his mouth in the first place.

 

Her stare makes him uncomfortable, awkward, and anything else that screams ‘I don’t know how to handle this situation.’ Ginny must have known because her mouth fondly smiles instead of the previous frown.

 

“Harry, I really want to talk.”

 

Everyone knows that when someone wants to _talk_ is often not pleasant at all. Judging from her expression, he doesn’t expect this to be the rare welcome moment.

 

“I’m not... Okay, I’m listening.”

 

He wants so bad to just up and leave. He wants to walk away. He wants to just stare at the Great Lake. He wants to continue wondering about his future. He wants to wonder what field he will work in. He wants to reminisce his long dead loved ones. _(“We are proud of you, Harry.”)_ He wants to recall all the eyes he watched losing their lights. _(Many greys, browns, blues, and black)_ He wants to grieve those freshly picked souls. _("You'll be godfather?")_ He wants badly and desperately but he can’t. That’s why he sits down and asks if she wants to.

 

“Well, this kind of things needs to be done sitting, doesn’t it?”

 

He hums in respond. He doesn’t really have anything to reply and knows that opening his mouth is not a very good idea right now.

 

“Harry, I need you to look at me in the eyes.”

 

He doesn’t really want to though. Reluctantly, he moves from watching the Lake to her brown eyes. He then suddenly realizes that it is a terrible idea. _(He hasn’t been making good decisions lately.)_ Her eyes are so focused _(as if just now she wasn’t crying)_ ; they are not piercing but somehow, he feels bare, torn and oh-so-sad. Because she knows, wholeheartedly, that he doesn’t want any of the present.

 

That he doesn’t want to be here _(exist)_ anymore.

 

“I want to tell you about something, well, it’s a lot of something to be exact,” her voice rasps. Ginny clears her throat a few times then continues. “I think, and know that it is not your fault or because of you, okay?” she takes more breath. She looks nervous for the first time in a while. “I don’t think that I love you like that and I know you don’t love me that way too.” She rushes out, and he doesn’t know what to respond. He just stares at her dumbly, feeling like waking up from a dream.

 

Oh, so this is it, huh?

 

She’s still looking at him like he might have an outburst _(possibilities)_ or any argument. He doesn’t know what she wants him to say, so he keeps his mouth shut. That seems to upset her more. She quickly rushes on, almost like making excuses.

 

“...Just now, when you went there to, to d..” His heart sinks, “to _Him_ ,” lower, “and had Hagrid carried you back,” and lower. He doesn’t want to listen to this. He _can’t._

 

(Join me in the Forbidden Forest, and confront your fate.)

 

But he just sits there and listens on, like always. “I have this feeling, this thought, just like with Fred,” her voice wavers, “my brother dies and he’s going to die and he has died and he, he will not be with us any longer.” She grabbed my hand, tightly, almost like she’s afraid he’s going to disappear.

 

_(But Ginny fears nothing and no one.)(No, not after this.)_

 

“I know it’s not the best time and not the best break-up line ever,” the gone twin still echoes in her speech, “but I need to get this out. I can’t hold it anymore. I feel so bottled and please, Harry.” She looks at me, stares into my eyes as she utters those words.

 

“Whatever comes next, don’t go, just, don’t be gone, please.”

 

She doesn’t let her tears drop because that’s not her.

 

She doesn’t look away because that’s not her.

 

She doesn’t ask him to promise because that’s not her.

 

She doesn’t treat him gently because that’s not her, not Ginny.

 

Ginny, who is plain at everything but her inside, uses that graze to burn the memories of her into his mind. He will be wondering about her for a long time. Her fire, drive, strength and everything will be with the many eyes that engrave in his mind, He will not forget her. He will not regret anything about her. She wouldn’t allow it in the first place.

 

So he looks into her eyes and smiles as best as he can. She seems satisfied with that and returns the smile. Becoming more relaxed, she seems like she wants to say something more but just happy to lie there with him. It makes him almost content. His mind starts to drift away. He wants to keep wondering. Suddenly, there’s a burning hand grabbing his left.

 

“We will here so take your time, okay?”

 

Looking down at the joined hands, he gives her a small nod. He then continues wondering if there’s another version of him being with Ginny. He wonders if they have children. He wonders if they will be named after his loved ones or hers or both.

 

So, he keeps wondering and feels fully content because when he wakes up, he will still have his friends and family.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there guys. If you enjoy this, hate this, or just want to rant anything at me, please feel free to comment down below. I would really appreciate it if you give any kind of feedback. If you have any questions, please also use the comment section to your heart content.
> 
> Also, I'm considering if I should continue it; or would it be better if it's left untouched?
> 
> Thank you for reading this far. Good Day/Night!


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